Personal Space: Why a Double Standard

Bronzz and Brandy are welcome in my space

I’ve heard it is disrespectful for horses to get in our Personal Space; yet they are supposed to let us touch any part of their bodies any time. This double standard explains many “behavior problems”. First, horses are uncomfortable, even frightened, being touched by someone they don’t trust, just as we are. Pinned ears, dirty looks, even threats are self-defense from their point of view. Second, sharing space is a sign of a bond. A horse moving carefully into your space says he wants this bond. Pushing him away or punishing him is rejection. This can make him anxious and prompt him to crowd your space more urgently, seeking reassurance. If your horse barges into your space unsafely, you can show him in a non-punitive way where you want him to be. Chicken Wings for Personal Space When he is careful, a positive response from you reinforces and encourages his good behavior. My horses are welcome in my space because they are gentle about it. I am welcome in theirs because they feel safe with me. I respected their space and let them show me what touches they were ready for. I am as gentle with them as I want them to be with me. That reinforces my position as Protector Leader, a person they trust to look out for them.

Bronzz and my granddaughter demonstrate a polite greeting

The "horse handshake" is a take-off of the nose touch greeting between horses. Introducing yourself to a new horse this way is reassuring because it says you respect his Personal Space. That tells him you are likely to be a Protector Leader he can trust to look out for him instead of a bossy one focused solely on obedience. The horse handshake is a polite greeting you can use any time with any horse. If he backs away from your hand, pause, assume an unthreatening posture and wait. (Next photo.)

Unthreatening posture invites an anxious horse to approach

My friend's very shy, anxious Morgan mare quickly approached my grandson because he did NOT attempt to touch her.

Ester makes contact

Touching my grandson gently indicates she is ready for him to reach out and touch her. My grandson has reached out his hand for Ester to touch but, correctly gauging her gentleness, he let her touch his face instead. How much space does a fearful horse need? A good answer comes from George Brauneis who cares for traumatized mustangs. "The amount of personal space needed equals the amount of fear one is internalizing." Check out George's facebook page to see how he successfully relates to the fearful mustangs in his care.

Now Ester is comfortable being touched

References and Additional Information:
Horses in Company by Lucy Rees
F. Heitor, M. do Mar Oom, L. Vicente, “Social relationships in a herd of Sorraia horses Part I. Correlates of social dominance and contexts of aggression”, Behavior Processes, Sept 2006.
What Horses Really Want: Unlocking the Secrets to Trust, Confidence and Reliability by Lynn Acton
Marish Mares and Personal Space How much "marish" behavior is defense of Personal Space?
Catching the Uncatchable Horse - How to invite your horse to catch you instead.
Body Language: Copying - Ground work that invites your horse to stay with you. Good for bonding and excellent ground manners.
Do Horses Want to Be Dominant? - The idea that "invading" our space is a bid for dominance is part of the myth that horses want to be dominant. They don't. Dominance is a human misconception, as this article explains.